Words That Stay: What Parashat Behar Teaches About How We Speak
- office5538
- May 13
- 4 min read
This week's Torah portion has something important to say about words — and why some of them stay with us far longer than we expect.
Quick facts
Topic | Hona'at devarim, the Torah's law against causing pain with words |
Parasha | Parashat Behar (Vayikra / Leviticus) |
Series | Torah for Real Life |
Location | Perth Hebrew Congregation, Menora |
Audience | Families, teens, and adults in the Perth Jewish community |
Key idea | Words can close a person down - or leave room for them to grow |
Next step |
A law about something invisible
Parashat Behar is known for its laws about the land, Shemittah, the sabbatical year, and the Yovel, the Jubilee. But tucked inside those laws is one that has nothing to do with fields or property.
It's about words.
The Torah forbids Hona'at devarim (הונאת דברים), causing someone pain through speech. Our Sages teach that this can be even more damaging than taking someone's money. Money, at least, can be returned. A sentence can sit inside a person for years.
What does it actually mean?
Most people understand that insults are wrong. But the Torah's concern goes deeper than obvious cruelty.
It's the labels we repeat. The assumptions we've stopped questioning. The sentences that freeze a person in a version of themselves they're trying to leave behind.
"You always do this." "You never change." "That's just who you are."
These can be spoken out loud to someone else. They can also be spoken quietly to ourselves.
Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai taught that words are especially serious because they go where physical harm cannot. They reach a person's sense of who they are. And once a person believes they can't change, change becomes harder.
The Torah's standard is specific
Parashat Behar doesn't just tell us to avoid cruelty. It tells us to speak in a way that leaves room for a person's future.
That's a higher standard. It means that even when something is true, we still ask: how do I say this without closing the person down? Even when something needs to be corrected, we ask: can I protect their dignity while I do it?
A person is bigger than their worst moment. A person is bigger than the version of them we stopped updating years ago.
A takeaway for families
This isn't only a teaching for children. Parents, educators, and community leaders deal with this constantlyת the moment when a correction needs to happen and the question is how.
The Torah's guidance is:
say the true thing, but say it in a way that leaves the person a path forward.
A sentence can close a person down. A sentence can also help them begin again. The words we choose, at home, at school, and in shul, shape whether people feel able to grow.
Try this at home
This Shabbat, try one of these conversations around the table:
For children: Ask - "Have you ever had someone say something about you that didn't feel true, but still stayed with you? What happened?"
For teenagers: Ask - "Is there a label you've given someone that you might be ready to update?"
For adults: Ask - "Is there a way I speak to myself about my own mistakes that I wouldn't accept from someone else?"
In one sentence
Parashat Behar's law of Hona'at devarim teaches families in Perth, and everywhere, to speak in a way that leaves room for people to grow, not closes them inside a label.
Frequently asked questions
What is Parashat Behar? Parashat Behar is a weekly Torah portion from the book of Vayikra (Leviticus). It covers laws of Shemittah (the sabbatical year), Yovel (the Jubilee year), and Hona'at devarim, the prohibition against causing pain through speech.
What is Hona'at devarim? Hona'at devarim means causing someone distress or pain through words. The Torah forbids it. Our Sages teach it can be more serious than financial harm, because emotional pain is harder to repair.
Who is Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai? Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai was a leading Sage of the Mishnaic period, known for his depth in Torah law and mystical teaching. His yahrzeit is commemorated on Lag BaOmer, and his teachings appear throughout the Talmud. He is associated especially with the importance of kavod habriot, human dignity.
Is PHC learning open to all backgrounds? Yes. PHC youth and community learning programs are designed to be welcoming for families from a range of Jewish backgrounds and levels of observance.
Contact us to find out what's on this week.
Where is Perth Hebrew Congregation? Perth Hebrew Congregation (PHC) is located in Menora, Perth, Western Australia.
It is home to youth programs, family events, Shabbat services, and weekly learning sessions including Kollel Tanach.
Join us
PHC runs Shabbat services and weekly Torah learning programs throughout the year, including youth activities, family programs, and the Kollel Tanach on Wednesday evenings at 6:15pm.
Written by PHC Youth - Empower | Published: May 2026
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